Emotional Unavailability

Published on by priyadarshini




Life is full of twist and turn in. If we don’t have that in our life, it will become really boring. Sometimes this twist made us panic and in dating life it happens many times. In every relationship we found our self alone for some time. If the suction occurs for long time it will be really panic.  Your spouse doesn’t sympathize when you are in grief or doesn’t understand you when you are feeling low. You dial persona but every time you get engage tone he / she is unavailable emotional. This emotional unavailability hurts mate and many times can fractured relationship.

What is emotional unavailability

An emotionally unavailable person cannot build physical closeness, despite becryinging there physically. You know the monosyllabic conversation you have with your partner when he's stict to a sport match. Imagine that to be his or her response to every situation. Such individuals give a feeling of not being available when the other one needs them the most, be it sister, parent, friend or spouse. They wouldn't be the first person you would call up in times of crisis or distress. Those on the receiving end of such a relationship feel unloved. Mike my friend told “ I am really stress because of my office work and that I want to share with my mate Reena but whenever I want to start the topic she is to be busy in  housework or she is busy in painting her face. I tired lot of time to share my feelings with her but it seems she is not interested it makes me more stress.  Now I always went to my club whenever I am surrounded by stress black clouds. I need my mate with me emotional as well as because of her behavior I found sex with her less interesting.

Once emotional unavailability becomes a way of life, it is difficult for a person to feel comfortable in intimacy. A long term of therapy to deal with childhood issues may bring some security to the person.

Emotional neglect is very harmful to relationships as the other person is not there, sometimes even physically. Such a person finds every excuse to avoid situations which demand emotional attention, instigating the spouse to look for another emotional anchor. A child deprived of emotional security may extract it from the other parent, sibling or spouse. However, an unresponsive spouse makes the other feel unwanted and unloved, raising levels of discontentment in the relationship, and eventually leading to the partner to seek an anchor outside the marriage. A woman may turn her complete attention on the children, which can lead to over-protection and over-obsessive behavior.


How to you can deal with it


lean on his shoulderFirstly, avoid taking the responsibility of changing this person, parent, spouse or friend. Try not to smother them with too much attention and divert your attention by taking up an assignment. The key is to avoid thrusting the responsibility of your happiness upon this person, as this will only lead to pain and disappointment. Cliché as it sounds, accept him or her the way she/he is. Therapy would certainly help, but for YOU! The emotionally unavailable person rarely feels the need for it!


Emotionally distant people keep everyone at bay — they have no relationships or attachments. They are loners. An emotionally unavailable person is surrounded by people, has friends, cousins, protégés, and associates but does not belong to anyone.


Stealthy emotional neglect can break down a relationship. It needs to tackle it in time.


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